Are We Equal?

I hear it stated a lot, especially by people claiming that there is no further ‘need’ for Feminism, that “we are all equal now”. It’s especially been hot on the lips of angry young fanboys when they’re raging about Captain Marvel. I’ve heard it so much that I’ve done a little delving into this ‘equality’ that these people are angry about.

First off, the answer is still ‘no’. We are not all equal. If everyone had the same money, the same resources, the same access to everything, that would be communism. We don’t even have the same evaluation in the eyes of others, and we certainly don’t have the same access to help.

The complaining types do like to say that women are “getting everything” including the highly entitled phrase, “taking our jobs”. The very concept that those employment opportunities already belonged to the people complaining about it is the most entitled horseshit I’ve ever had the non-privilege to encounter.

When it comes to shelter from abuse and abusive relationships… they’re correct. Women have abuse shelters scattered all over the countryside. Yet when you google “men’s abuse shelter… this is what the map of the USA looks like:

As you can see, here, some of these are still labelled ‘womens’.

There aren’t any in either Alaska or Hawaii. Either men are not victim to abuse (which I doubt), or the infrastructure doesn’t exist because… Because people don’t believe the problem exists. Because men are repeatedly told that they are strong, and therefore cannot be victims. Because everyone and their kid brothers’ dog believes that myth.

It’s hilarious to us watching media to witness a woman hitting a man. Yet, when a man hits a woman, he’s inevitably the bad guy. The only exception being if the woman in question is irredeemably evil. Even then, he has to attack indirectly.

The narrative we should be telling is that all violence against other people is morally wrong… but you can’t sell popcorn with that one. I digress.

How about economically? Surely, there are an equal number of famous women in the World’s Richest…

Er. No. Not really. Just one amongst so many other men.

Not ones worth noticing by the world’s most well-known publication about the wealthiest breadwinners in the world. Man is, evidently, supposed to be the breadwinner. The great hunter who provides for the family whilst women “belong” in the house and caring for their men.

Of course, rational people know that this is horseshit, but the cultural bias remains. The pay gap is real and continuing. In fact, any occupation that is viewed as ‘feminine’ [eg: teaching, nursing, cleaning] is routinely underpaid despite the fact that it often involves more mental and emotional labour than many other occupations.

Women are more likely to be abandoned by their husbands when facing chronic or terminal illnesses. Why? Because men are typically not taught how to nurture. Therefore the emotional burden of a man caring for his wife is an unfamiliar and highly taxing task. In fact, women are given the task of preventing their spouse from leaving by this list of tactics.

Can you imagine being tasked with being your own caregiver’s emotional support team? Especially when desperately ill and at death’s door? Can you imagine it being your fault when your partner leaves you because you were too sick and they couldn’t handle it? It’s outrageous.

Bringing it back to the fathers, there’s also evidence of bias in custody battles. Those courts who hold with more ‘traditional’ (read: sexist) views will always award custody to the mother. Those in the opposite frame of thought will take pains to award custody to the father.

There are even some courts who award visitation rights to the children of the women they’d raped. It’s entirely possible in the Americas for a man to escape rape charges, then force the woman he’d raped to have his baby and then sue for custody. Meanwhile, there has yet to be a case of a woman raping a man and having that successfully end in jail time.

Hell, there hasn’t been a case of a woman raping a man and the case making it to court. Yet, whenever this is brought up, you have entire hosts of people willing to regurgitate the same lies told about women rape victims.

I’m sure you know the ones. “X is only doing it to ruin Y!”/”X wasn’t saying ‘no’.”/”X was into it.” And the hardy perennial favourite, “Men can’t get raped.”

We aren’t equal.

We won’t be equal until we utterly destroy the myths surrounding the genders. We won’t be equal until women are just as allowed to be construction workers and emergency response people, as men would be allowed to be nurses and caregivers. We won’t be equal until boys are allowed to cry and girls are allowed to fight.

So… no. We are not equal. Not yet.

We could be if we tried harder.

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