I’ve been working on this blog for some time now, and I thought I had followers. I thought people were reading these things. Turns out, once again, I’m shouting into the darkness of the void, with no response whatsoever from the enormous gulfs of whatever.
I thought giving my readers a chance to vote on the next topic might be cool. I obviously thought wrong. I waited the entire 24-hours the poll lasted and… no votes. Not one. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Nothing. Nobody cares enough to click a thing and thereby participate in my endless chain of random ramblings.
I know. It’s the internet. The only people who are popular are people who are incredibly popular. They get so via word of mouth and being telegenic or telegenial and me? I’m a dumbass who writes weird shit that only this dumbass appears to have any interest in.
It’s… more than a little disheartening.
Either I should leave more time for the poll or give up hope of having an audience that cares. I dunno. I’m trying my heart out to be a good person and make good things, but… This is one of those days when it feels like I’m pitch-hitting for Sisyphus, you know?
Working my heart out to get my stuff out there is draining and exhausting and I feel like giving up no matter what fantabulous new meds I might have found for my sorry butt. Sometimes, I despair.
I want to have more. Writing’s the only talent I have, and therefore the only thing I can sell. Except… there’s so few weirdoes like me who like the weird stuff I like. I’m a statistical outlier seeking out other statistical outliers and I don’t even know where to look.
Someone’s gotta be under my flavour of rock, right?
Someone’s gotta know that remote weirdo and pass along the info that I exist.
I’m just… so tired of trying my heart out and not having that happen. I’m tired of blaring my message loud and long and not hearing much in the way back but the occasional, “You’re doing it wrong,” or variant thereof. Tumblr’s purge of linkage offsite hasn’t helped, there.
I don’t know what to do, so I just keep trying the same old stuff and hoping that all this trial will get me past the tribulations.
Thank you for playing. Better luck next time…