They say, “turn about is fair play.” What they mean about that is that something bad that happens to a member of the usual oppressors is more or less what they deserve for being a member of the usual oppressors. For instance, a man being beaten or abused by a woman is funny or otherwise justified because it’s usually the man beating or abusing the woman.
Except… it’s not that fair. The abusers keep being abusers. Whether or not they’re people who are expected to have the upper hand is a moot point. The point is that we’re not always bothered when we see a victim… because we expect things to be the other way around. It’s therefore justifiable to us, based entirely on ‘fair play’ to have the scales balanced in the ‘opposite’ direction.
What we should be doing, though, is standing up against all abuses. Abuses of power, abuses of privilege, abuses of the law… They’re all avenues of -well- evil. Evil begins by thinking of people as things. It mutates after that into the Deserving Paradox and convolutes into victim blaming. When the power is turned around, we think that balances the scales, somehow.
Spoilers: no it doesn’t.
What it does is create an atmosphere in which victims think they can’t announce themselves, legally prosecute their tormentors, or have any hope of comfort or succour. That is, very basically, wrong.
Every being that is being abused, no matter the means, the reason, or the logic behind it… that being needs a place of respite. They need a means to recover and heal. They need support to start over in safety.
This, interestingly, kind of obliterates prison as we know them. One day I’m going to write an entry about criminal rehabilitation and reform that might actually work. One that doesn’t involve the heavy penalties we usually insist that criminals -ha- ‘deserve’. Prison is just legalised abuse of already disenfranchised citizens. But I digress.
The best way to stop abuse is to remove the deserving of abuse in the media. To teach the children that nobody deserves to be hurt. Stop rewarding abusers for singling out the non-normal kids. Stop blaming the non-normals for being outstanding from the average. With fortitude and long effort, we can create a culture where all forms of abuse are wrong.
Of course, the “survival of the fittest” mob are against this sort of thing from the start. For them, it’s morally correct that the victims are the victims and the abusers are the abusers. The strong apparently have earned their position, and the weak cannot ever hope to succeed against them.
The morals of strength lie entirely on how they treat the weak. I would not side with the people who hold those morals. They are immoral morals. My question to that point is – at what point does a weak and helpless baby become a person who ‘deserves’ to be abused?
You can see the problem there, can’t you? No human deserves to be abused. People who dance around that particular issue are just people who want an excuse to hurt others.
Besides, there’s mountains of proof that punishment for whatever wrong there happens to be… just won’t work. Punishment didn’t stop people being gay, being jewish, being criminals of any flavour. Time to stop that nonsense and work on other solutions, methinks.
And in the meantime – let’s teach all our kids that emotional expression is okay. That’ll defuse one thousand percent of violent outbursts from what would be young offenders. The psychology of violence usually begins with few other avenues of expression. Guess what? It’s another blog for another time.